Invalid Password

Invalid: “1. Not factually or legally valid…2. Falsely based or reasoned” (Webster II New Riverside Dictionary).

Password: “A secret word or phrase spoken to gain admittance” (Webster II New Riverside Dictionary).

In our technology-hazed world that we call reality, there is just one question that needs to be asked: Why do we have to have passwords for everything? E-mail, the Internet…soon we’ll need a password just to use the bathroom.

Security is a good thing; but seriously, Alcatraz didn’t have as many passwords as I need just to check to my e-mail. Besides, Alcatraz had the nice Island feel—a special added bonus.

To me, it would seem that computers would be a pretty simple thing, but no. Somewhere, somebody decided that they couldn’t be easy; they have to be difficult, just to add a little more frustration to our daily routines. I always thought computers were invented with the intention of making things easier, instead of complicating them. What happened?

Don’t get me wrong, I love technology. E-mail is a great invention, I know I’d never write letters. Anything to make my life easier, I’m all in favor of. But, I shouldn’t have to work harder just to make something easy. It makes no sense.

Just the other day, I turned my computer on with the great expectations of checking my e-mail. Immediately, I got a message telling me that my password had expired (I didn’t know they had sell by dates). So, I decided to change it, not expecting it to be a half-hour ordeal.

As I was thinking up a new password, my computer decided to give me advice (I have a thoughtful computer, don’t I). It gave me the following hint: “The safest passwords are at least 8 characters long, include both letters and numbers, and contain no words from a dictionary.”

Honestly, tell me what kind of hacker is going to sit with a dictionary, flipping through all 3000 pages, typing in every word, and hoping that one of them is my password. By the time that they find the right one, it will have expired again. Besides, anyone who puts in that kind of effort deserves to have whatever e-mail I have.

So, there I was, trying to create a new word that only I’ll know (I guess I shouldn’t call up Webster and have it added to the dictionary because then I’d need to create a new password…that is one not in the dictionary).

I’ve never been one much for inventing new words. But anyway, I came up with this amazing password; no one will ever figure it out.

Including myself, it was so complex that I forgot it already.

It seems to me that we need passwords for a lot more things than just e-mail. Calling cards, ATM PIN numbers…the list goes on forever. We must use passwords at least three dozen times a day. I don’t know about you, but I sometimes have trouble remembering some of these.

I’ve always been told not to use the same password twice. The only problem is now there are more of them to forget. It takes me fifteen minutes every time I want to check my e-mail; I have a list of passwords that I go down (I have no clue what they go to…I just keep putting them in and hoping that I’ve got the right one).

I opened a new e-mail account recently (I have about five, but you can never have too many of these things, I guess…especially when they’re free). It has special security features, in case I forget my password. It has a special question that it asks me and I can give my secret answer (another password). What makes them think that if I forget my password, I’ll be able to remember my “secret answer?” Who comes up with these great ideas?

As technology continues to inhabit more and more of our lives, things just seem to get more and more confusing. Computers have come to take over our lives. It wouldn’t be so bad, but why do these things never seem to work the way they were designed to?

There is not much that can be held true in the world. In fact, the only thing that I know to be true is that people don’t like to work too hard. We’re lazy. Face it, if it’s too complicated, we’re not interested.

Just look at what television shows are popular. I’ve never seen the local news at the top of the Nielson ratings.

People are simple. We don’t like difficult things. We like simple things. Simple things make us happy. Simple sentences with small words are easy to read.

Why do things have to be so complex? It seems as though things ought to be able to remain somewhat simple. I don’t mean oversimplify everything, but we should just not overcomplicate things.

I think as a society we need to retrogress to cave people times. Things were a lot simpler back then. Besides, how many cavemen had clubs with passwords?

Published March 8, 1999, in The Denisonian of Denison University.

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About Todd DeFeo 1625 Articles
Todd DeFeo loves to travel anywhere, anytime, taking pictures and notes. An award-winning reporter, Todd revels in the experience and the fact that every place has a story to tell. He is the owner of The DeFeo Groupe and also edits Express Telegraph and Railfanning.org.