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An appreciation of the charming, yet misunderstood, spork

Simple as it may be, the Spork is the type of innovation that helped change the course of utensils as we know it.

The spork is to cutlery what the all-in-one fax/printer/copier/scanner is to technology – versatile, yet compact. Just as you can fax and copy on a single machine, so too can you eat soup and salad with a single utensil.

The American Heritage Dictionary of the English Language defines the Spork as: “A trademark used for a plastic eating utensil having a spoonlike bowl and tines.” Yes, the Spork is in fact a trademarked utensil.

One can find the Spork just about everywhere – from school cafeterias to company break rooms. The name alone evokes a certain kind of culinary charm. As a word, Spork just rolls off the tongue. Perhaps that’s why this utilitarian utensil never caught on as the foon.

Sadly, it’s hard to know just how well-accepted the Spork really is in popular society. Is it something that’s been forced upon us? Or, is it a cutlery tool we gleefully grab when we walk into the local Taco Bell? Frankly, it seems as though no one has commissioned any sort of poll to gauge public opinion. Hard to believe, I know.

Yet, it’s popular enough to have spawned an unofficial Spork fan site, spork.org, which opines: “Spork! How do I Love thee? Let me count the prongs …”

No matter what our societal opinion of the Spork may be, the fact is this utensil has been with us for years. According to one account, this useful utensil first appeared during the 1940s, a creation of the U.S. Army. By another, the Spork apparently dates to medieval times. Maybe the Spork was the preferred utensil of King Arthur and his knights at the round table.

What’s next? The Swiss Army Spork?

Of course, with the knifspork, there’s always the potential for a nasty cut in the event of a mishap.

Now, one would in fact be remiss to think utensil combinations end with the Spork. According to urban legend, there is also a devilish combination called the splade. As the name might imply, it’s basically a Spork that includes a knife.

It’s most common to find the Spork in plastic form. But, from time to time, they come in some sort of metallic variation – an incarnation often used on camping trips. If the online encyclopedia Wikipedia is in fact correct, the Spork also makes its presence felt in prisons. Apparently, in the minds of wardens, at least, the Spork just isn’t the intimidating tool, nor can it be used as any sort of shank. But if it were, would it be known as a Shankspork aka a Shapork?

So maybe the Spork isn’t your type of utensil. But before you dismiss it as an outlandish, over-the-top experiment in kitchen cutlery, consider the environmentally friendly aspect of the Spork.

In the end, perhaps the greatest unanswered question remains: If dropping a knife means a man will soon visit, a fork means a woman and a spoon a baby, what does dropping a Spork mean? A pregnant woman is on the horizon?

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